鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; g) U$ v: x% ~; z
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+ ^* y' g* R$ T+ u6 @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 N8 Z* D6 @/ @7 a
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 @; Z6 C+ H0 ?3 A- u2 R& s# ~& p
3 d7 C$ H" _& `5 _1 C. BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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1 H0 D0 }& k3 C' cLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' v( F* M' x' o/ Dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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4 w# c9 \6 L% Z5 e7 @Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . f; ?1 @. U' f+ u7 R
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 }9 U& Y( z: H
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.: \+ Y+ I' B( w
; v% J. k3 e& H+ }. ]Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% m6 @3 d. }) Y: G: i
/ j- E; l' E& p- b+ Q& k mWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : x5 d1 @. n1 s3 l6 d- x8 ?
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( G5 n. G1 n1 J- w/ l1 @0 ~* n J
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Rinse conditioner off hair. p4 K& D5 b8 U% a
5 d- n q( H$ ]" ~, U' l7 tShave armpits and legs.- Z+ K: Q/ z. ^, I
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Turn off shower.& C3 N$ U% }6 e! N
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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% H5 I/ {' J# x! A" z# iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " `7 z" G' b9 t \
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 l3 g# ]7 B- t/ r- \, S5 ~" @, d
: V* }- U1 Y4 n9 d/ t8 aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) J; D: C) y& x4 {- @ z" L
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. $ s, X+ }. `9 I, _
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 Y* k1 P! @ x# i9 `: T4 |! h- ~
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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2 \. s c2 p0 ^; C* S9 vIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 T/ n; V' ~, X1 I
+ y# R2 i" D/ Q' {Look at your manly physique in the mirror. $ e5 B. C0 t7 t5 D
) E* o" e& _+ n GAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + u+ W- B1 H7 E$ i
5 V+ t" G t) k3 R; BBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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$ @. }0 U3 H& m+ T: @9 u* n& wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. , I6 O* p! {9 u) P
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 W4 e5 \- |" B' Y# @, O( X1 @
* Q/ g2 J+ B9 EWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * X/ {+ N$ [! C
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Rinse off and get out of shower. - h) P/ l3 Y* g" ?; U" E1 H
4 f. b% I+ S/ J( R" [Partially dry off.
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$ M7 K+ d/ ~5 C1 A& m1 X1 WFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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& b% U. l5 a8 H) eAdmire wiener size in mirror again. # `9 D' N7 P! w; S
1 V" m D( q- f7 p+ n3 rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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. G9 ~$ B0 u4 C6 e- ]1 mReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. # h' a* F- ~8 f, S# U
/ k$ H0 i' z$ _+ x, e1 Q: ZIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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