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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol9 P% Q1 p2 f% C6 \. q
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2 t- B w K& A/ o2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals., w$ p+ } m6 Q* z/ j
* ~& H1 c- i' }$ l* c7 ]3 M Z/ c G3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.7 y% D: }" @& H
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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3 B- Y; ]9 c! ~- c6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area4 s9 |( \, u8 m% D! T' ~
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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' h4 E+ R5 ^. [8 c8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ Y- o8 I. Q2 H. U. p6 |/ t
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'7 b& G. n/ b2 U$ T7 @! S
7 O, k2 T4 J. @" ^: ]" C1 ^4 `9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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6 d6 t& r c( p( y& f10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are./ a1 \! {7 K' g- f. W
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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/ U+ [: s! M- j4 L12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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+ O$ K i6 g$ V$ D' l6 T% y13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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2 n' n! p1 l6 |. t7 f0 r14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)( \) |0 B. w+ o( b! A! P
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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