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犹豫了很久，终于决定把自己的真实故事写出来。1 e' k3 G" @" d8 I" t& v
4 ~" F1 o) W: i l% M5 w犹豫的原因是有个别的朋友，缺少同情心。
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# ^1 n# o+ i! a+ k9 S# p我承认我做的不对，结了婚还找情人肯定是不对。 但是很多貌似不对事情确实都发生了， 而且发生的那么难以避免。5 d, P( g/ Q6 W% Q+ W; e2 b/ Y
6 f& U# ]; R; K( {( R+ }! |如果您没有同情心，如果您认为我是个坏人或者我的情人不是好人，请不要往下读。
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8 G7 J$ b& O# Q4 h. A# v0 ZI Had a Lover
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We met at a friend’s party. She was beautiful, younger and energetic. She was an interpreter of a school. I liked to spend time with foreign teachers and then we had more chances to talk. She admired me because in her words I should do her job.
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One day I proposed to climb a mountain in the suburb. She agreed without hesitation. She sat at the back of my motorbike. I could feel her warm body when the rode was bumpy. I had a desire to touch her hands or body, but I did not dare. The mountain was steep. I gave my hand to her when it was necessary. Her hands were warm, soft and tender when I held them. So I chose more steep paths to climb, and got more chances to touch her hands. Actually before not too long, I could hold her hands even when the slope was not that steep. & k, b# @% o) F
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Suddenly it became dark. The black clouds were coming. We could heard the thunder far way. We hurried down the mountain. I rode my motorbike as fast as I could to escape the coming rain. But the city was too far way and we were caught in the rain.
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We stopped at a small shop where they sell cell phones. The two girl clerks were very kind for us to stay in. They offered us two small chairs. We sat together. The weather was cool and my body desired for warmth. I moved my chair closer to hers and my shoulder was with together with hers. I felt warm. But I was too greedy to be satisfied with shoulder to shoulder. I took her hands into mine again. This time it was different. I needed not give her a hand to help. Her hands were quietly stayed in mine, but I could feel her breath became faster. Her cheeks became redder. Wow, what a great feeling! I loved being caught in the rain! I said it out. She did not ask why and just smiled. I love her simile and missed the smile very much. It was so sweet. 4 B( {* N" R1 d, D0 ^/ _/ g0 i, z
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When at last we came back to her cozy rented home, I held her into my arms. I kissed her. I kissed her very lightly. I kissed her upper lip, then her lower lip. When I kissed her, her body became trembling. Her mouth uttered some soft voice, which was fascinating and very encouraging. Her lips were so tender, I kissed them more tenderly. I enjoyed her moaning in my arms.
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- U+ e8 \9 d' O0 `/ n! M5 hAt last we made love....... F" `4 J8 {. x3 U! p/ J: ?3 R: X! [
" o0 w1 }% j9 v) W& n2 x, n, h MShe asked me: will you one day marry me? I knew I would not. So I said: I will make you happy. I did not notice the red blood in the bed, not much, but clearly there until I was ready to leave. My God, she was a virgin. My heart beat faster. At that I promised to myself: I will do anything I can to make her happy. I will do anything I can to make her the happiest woman in the world.
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Indeed she was very happy, especially when with me. But she missed me terribly when I was somewhere else. At first she did not tell me that her heart hurt when missing me. I certainly enjoyed the precious quality time with her. I now know the happiness was based on her harsh bitterness in missing me during most of the time.
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, X7 e% M4 c5 O. D/ g& C8 n/ `9 cOne day she insisted my staying. I said no, because I had to leave. She begged me to stay. I could see her strong attachment to me. She held me tightly and dragged me with force. But at last I left. I felt sorry. I knew it was unfair for her. I was her total, but she was not. I knew the more we stayed this way, the more harm I would do her. I decided to leave her. Later she told me she cried and cried and cried for months.
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# ]0 @8 e2 D7 s5 n( f5 y# UHalf a year later, I gave her a call to know how she was doing. She sobbed and told me she cannot live without me. I went to comfort her. Then we kissed, hugged and then made love. We were together again. n W3 h/ j8 U C
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She was very happy when I was with her. She would clean the room before I came. She enjoyed walking in the street hands in hands with me. But she was quite miserable when I was not there. One day I told her to find a boyfriend. She became very angry. She even became violent. I said, “It would be good for you if you had a boyfriend”. She said if I really cared for her I had better get divorced. But I did not want to become another Chen shi mei. I just did not want to hurt another person.+ a! R$ G" ^# n6 s4 B
1 ]8 L: Y! M# ~/ \) C# n1 lThe time really came when a boy went into her life. But she told me she just did not have the right feeling with the boy. One voice in me said it would be good for us if she has a boyfriend, yet another selfish voice did not like the idea at all. Once after a very enjoyable quality time together, she went to say no to the boy. I knew in her heart I was her love and her total. 2 ~( A( f6 q3 P$ o, d! ]$ {
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So time just went along, with some happiness but I guess more bitterness.
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Half a year ago I went to a far place. She cried and cried. She asked me to bring her with me. In her email she said she did not care anything, she just wanted to be with me. I did want her but just did not know how. Later when I knew how, she became very hesitating, saying she did not want this life anymore. 1 Y: n! I* f8 N& F
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There is nothing I can do, except wishing her that she can forget me and start a new life.
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February 6, 2007
2 w5 Z* t' Y& C* d$ {When I am supposed to finish my assignment
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[ 本帖最后由 man888 于 2007-2-6 23:14 编辑 ] |
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发表于 2007-2-6 23:11
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发表于 2007-2-7 00:11
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